Directions

And we expect the KIDS to follow directions????

Old School

This is waaaaay funnier than "Kick Me".

Bible School

The preschoolers got out the bible trivia cards and asked my teacher friend to ask them questions.
Question #1. How many days did it take God to create the world?
Olivia: Six hundred million!
Kaylynn: Jesus!
Alexis: It has to be a number stupid. The answer is seven.
Teacher: Close. The number is six. God rested on the seventh day.
Alexis: God got arrested? Hahahaha!

Oh shit! Shart!

School nurses do not get paid enough. Overheard at the nurses office:

I thought I was farting but a lump came out.

I think I threw up in my underwear!

Speed

Overheard from one teacher to another, "My kids are operating at the speed of DUH today."

Yummy!

Me: What's your favorite animal?
Student: Chicken!
Me: What animal do you wish you could be?
Student: Chicken!
Me: What's your favorite food?
Student: Chicken Nuggets!

Food for Thought

My autistic student cracks me up. He's smarter than anyone. He says, "Your pants are on backwards!!" I said, "No, honey, the pockets just look like that." He goes, "SHAWN, your PANTS are on BACKWARD!! How can you teach us anything!?!?!?!"