Yummy!

Me: What's your favorite animal?
Student: Chicken!
Me: What animal do you wish you could be?
Student: Chicken!
Me: What's your favorite food?
Student: Chicken Nuggets!

Food for Thought

My autistic student cracks me up. He's smarter than anyone. He says, "Your pants are on backwards!!" I said, "No, honey, the pockets just look like that." He goes, "SHAWN, your PANTS are on BACKWARD!! How can you teach us anything!?!?!?!"

In Sickness and in Health

Best part of going back to work after being sick? The cards. "I am fairy glad you are better mow." "I lick you so mush. Hop yuo fell beter." "Were were you. The sub suked. Glad you are bitter."

First Day

I spent hours making a Powerpoint of my rules, etc, for the first day.  The grand finale was a slide that said, "You are all unique!"  Fast forward to me saying, "Boys and girls, let's read this last one together, because it's how I feel about you."

Class:  You are all UNQUIET.

Curriculum Night

Parent:  So, how much time do you spend talking about Satan?
Teacher:  (In her head) What the FUCK???????

Occupational Therapy

OT guy to kindergarden student:  What's hard for you?

Student, after thinking hard for a moment:  Um...the floor?????

A to Z

Testing.  Testing a child one on one is always enlightening.  When asked to write the alphabet from A to Z a kindergarten student in our building made it to the letter 'g' before attempting a peek at the alphabet line hanging on the wall.

"Oh, no.  No peeking.  I need you to write it without looking," his teacher said.

The child looked confused, then put both hands over his eyes and attempted to write the rest of the alphabet.